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A Guide To Mistress Etiquette: First Contact

When idiots are granted access to the internet, they send ramblings like this little delight that landed in my inbox this afternoon:

“I’m finding that im needing to find someone who can make me explore things further, Basically I’m finding anal pleasurable and have got a couple of vibrators that doa good job, But it’s getting boring doing it on my own and i want to try taking anal in a harder way, I find it horny if i watch porn and the girl does anal, I basically want to see if i can take it in the same way so i need someone to give it to me in a similar way, with a vibro or something similar like a cucumber would be good to start, This then leads me to getting very horny and wondering if a cock was thrust near my face would i be so horny i sucked it like the girls in the porn, then would i take cock in me!? I don’t think I’m Bi I just get V horny sometimes. THese are questions I’m going to struggle to answer meeting people out and about.”

I wonder who might ask this chap to answer such questions whilst out and about? The same person who taught him to punctuate? Rather thoughtfully, he copied this group message to six Mistresses, all of whom I’m certain were delighted to receive it.

So, with that example of how NOT to contact a Mistress out of the way, let’s look at how you can score a multitude of brownie points with your prospective Domme when making email contact for the first time…

1) Read her website THOROUGHLY. The bit where I mention that I don’t offer sexual services or that I’m away on certain dates is there for a reason – to prevent both you and I wasting our time. Both of us want to meet with people who we are compatible with, so read copy carefully.

2) Address your email personally, courteously, to one Mistress and one Mistress only at a time. If you are looking for a double or triple session you should contact each lady in question independently as a first step. Copying multiple Dommes into one impersonal email is simply rude. Rudeness is not an attractive trait in anybody, let alone a submissive.

3) Introduce yourself. You’d be amazed how many people send me emails without signing off with a name, nickname, pseudonym or even an initial. Not only is it polite to do so but helpful for your Mistress to identify you when you speak on the phone for the first time.

4) Be clear about what you’re seeking from your Mistress. The message above is a self-indulgent broadcast of one man’s wank fantasies… If, instead of this, he had contacted me politely requesting a beginner strap-on session I would have happily considered it.

5) Never forget your manners.

I’m happy to say that the vast majority of people who contact me are exceedingly polite and likeable in their written manner and should have no use at all for these rules. But for those of you who are novices, reading this and pondering your future dealings with Mistresses, take note of these tips so that you can make the best possible impression when you do take the plunge (in the case of the offender mentioned above, the plunge of the cucumber entering your backside).