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Switch Slave

An insightful contribution to my blog from one of my fave slaves, slave I. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to switch, or explore multiple submissive ‘personalities’, this will be an entertaining read.

I am a slave to Modern Empress, to put myself at her feet, be subject to her whim and invention is a stimulating ultimately satisfying experience. Our journey began some time ago and through our regular training sessions and planning emails, where she will take inspiration from my imagination and fantasy, then twist and push them back at me in her own style; I am learning to become a better slave. Empress talks about the strength of submission and that is something I try to take on board. I make a deliberate choice to put myself at her mercy, and then discover she has none! Knowing I have left myself open to her humiliation, icy glance and seemingly never ending supply of beautiful shoes to worship makes my predicament all the more thrilling. That the experience then sexually arouses me, makes it even more humiliating and so the cycle continues. Empress of course finds it most amusing, as from the start of a session my next come is he’s to dictate. During that time my slavery is complete and real, Empress knows what activities excite me, what I ‘enjoy not enjoying’ and areas where, if she forced me into them, I could not give her the service she deserves. Of course she will push at my limits, mental ones in some sessions, physical boundaries another, and every reaction I make I know is carefully stored away for future reference. She understands me enough to forgo set scenarios in our sessions and every time I come to serve her I never know which half discussed idea will be bought into play from her armoury next, or indeed if it will be something new and unexpected. Yes I am excited by the mental and physical punishment she gives, but above and beyond that I crave the self-satisfaction that I have been a good boy and useful of service to my dominating Empress. If she leaves a session feeling better about the world and with an improvement to her life, be it a clean floor or foot massage, then I am proud of my achievement. She is the boss with total freedom to control and demand and I have the strength to give that to her, because of who she is.
But there is a twist, I switch. Not with her, though Empress knows about my dominating side and encourages that expression, but it is in other scene, with other players where I am the one calling the shots. To have a nubile young lady across my knee awaiting a spanking, the weight and heat of her body and the pre-punishment tension in her positioning is an incredible feeling. So different to the total intoxication of being consumed by Empress’ stilettos, but equally as important to me. By experiencing each role in its own self-enclosed and safe environment, I hope my overall ability to enjoy the full BDSM spectrum is increased and that as both a Dom and sub I can give more to the person(s) I scene with. Bonds of trust are just as vital as bonds of rope and a submissive has their own strange freedom. A freedom to express themselves in a way that vanilla society would not understand, a freedom to try new things and a freedom to learn what does and does not stimulate them. It is the Dom’s mission to give that opportunity, in addition to satisfying their own personal desires.
But there’s another twist, I also cross-dress. Since my early 20s I’ve known I’m TV, I find it a relaxant and a way to fully express a part of my psyche that is very important to me. My femininity does not need to be part of a sub/dom session, I have a few, very close friends where I can just be girly, dress casual but sassy and enjoy good food and good company. But when part of your brain is forever hinting you have a fem side and another section gets turned on by all things kinky then the two can combine very well. Again this does not happen with Empress, though she gets to hear the highlights and see pictures, but in its own separate sessions. As a sissy sub, I’m a 6th form schoolgirl, REAL uniform from John Lewis, cute flat shoes, Jane Norman school bag and a funky denim pencil case complete with a sheep key-ring on the zip. I attend extended sessions with a long term Headmistress and undertake very real and very structured lessons. Written work can be anything from composing a sexy story to genuine GCSE practise papers. But there is also deportment training, cookery, choir practise and, deep joy, needlecraft! It’s a fascinating contrast to my time with Empress. As a schoolgirl lessons are designed to test me and if I fail to meet strict standards I know I face punishment, but they are also there to help my TV side, make me a better, more confident and passable girl. Headmistress is my nemesis but also there to develop me. Whereas everything I do for Empress is for her benefit alone and any enjoyment I receive from it is incidental to her. Cross dressing I known is a very broad past-time and to be clothed in a way that was euphoric for a committed TV could be total humiliation to another sub. Strangely I can understand both of those positions. For instance, if Empress tried to dress me in bra and panties, with no wig or make up I would be deeply humiliated. But a part of my brain would be in what I can only describe as “ the wrong space”. I would feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body and unable to enjoy my discomfort or be the obedient and conscientious slave Empress demands.
My fem side also has a Mistress aspect, which includes my own long term slave, who will do just about anything I order for fear of my crop and chance to sniff around my shoe collection (a good chunk of which has come from slave’s pocket!) Sound familiar? I greatly enjoy this time too, but have to be careful not to live my submissive dreams by proxy. Slave is a pain-slut and needs to lose control and responsibility in sessions with me. I find this power very exciting but it would be very easy to exploit and so unground me. I am in charge and my authority is absolute, As a Mistress I am generally aloof and cold to my regular slave, which keeps me grounded and slave happy with the hopelessness of bondage, but I am more sensual to other playmates. Just as with my schoolgirl aspect, or times with Empress, my role as Mistress is very real. Slave attends sessions for my benefit and I control the tempo and intensity. Slave has many fantasies of quite harsh physical abuse and while I will sometimes go down that route, it is important to vary the scenes with mental tasks and humiliation. Beside my right arm may get tired and my kitchen floor can always do with a clean! I enjoy living out clichés, but with my own twist. I play with financial domination, but that does not have to mean extortion, rather receiving simple luxuries such as Tesco sushi, or my own favourite a lottery ticket. I punish the slave it if doesn’t pay out and will be a rich bitch if it ever does, the ideal win-win situation. Even shopping tasks can be twisted and I enjoy thinking about slave wasting free-time, naked with a laptop trying to find a pair of shoes that will please me, on ebay, within a strict budget. So being a dom(me) is in many ways liberating but also carries with it responsibility and trust. Knowing that everything I have to consider when with my slave, Empress also does when dealing with me is an wonderful thought.
Cutting my BDSM life into 4 distinct boxes works for me, each will influence and inspire the others but I want to experience each one for its own sake, submerge myself within them an come out of it stronger and wiser. What’s not to like?