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Entertaining Text Of The Week

Unfortunately I don’t offer a prize for these things!

Received this afternoon from a known timewaster (yes, I do keep a record of them).

Hi I’m Olly ******, you have my car at your garage, its a black peugeot 206, reg number MX*****. I have two suitcases in the boot and a sat nav in the car which I need to get before anything happens to it. Could you please get in touch so we can make arrangements in order for me to do that please, much appreciated Olly.

As I am a mischievous lady, I was tempted to text back telling him that we’d already misplaced the sat nav and the suitcases had been collected by a gentlemen wearing a bomber jacket and sovereign rings. However, in the hope of restoring a karmic balance, I decided not to respond to Olly and inform him of his mistake. He called me 8 times today, obviously most keen to retrieve his suitcases and sat nav. Which must have been a total waste of time for him.

Olly, if you’re reading this, I’m afraid it’s bad news. I sent your banger to the scrapheap long ago.