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Far Corners Of The Empire

An article by slave Bob, written earlier this year…soon I’ll be posting articles he’s written since our meeting a few months ago:

This article, which is fact rather than fiction, is written at the behest of the Modern Empress (ME). Its purpose is to describe my experience of serving ME from afar, and to discuss on-line servitude generally. A further reason I am writing, perhaps the primary reason, is to explain how I reconcile two aspects of my personality – the aspect I present to society and my submissive side.

To give the article context I think it would be helpful to explain a little about my background. I am a (young, I hasten to add) 61 year old, born and raised in England but I have been working in the Middle East (another ME) for the last five years. I am now happily married to a much younger lady and we have no children, although I do have adult children from an earlier marriage. My wife remains living in the UK. I am a reasonably well balanced individual, with a healthy and positive outlook on life. I am well educated (degree), come from a middle class background and have worked for the UK Government for over 35 years. With three overseas postings and various adventures, I suppose you could also say I am well-travelled. Since my early teenage years I have been conscious of being strongly drawn to the erotically dominant female. That attraction first surfaced from sneaking views of my father’s bedside reading – a collection of ‘Forum’ magazines and some more BDSM orientated material. I will resist the temptation to explore the genetic or nature vs. nurture implications of that parental connection, despite that having the potential to be a fascinating study. It is, though, perhaps important to say that my attraction, that has run like a thread through my life for almost 50 years now, had a strong sexual element. The early images that so sparked my imagination (and the early influence was strongly visual) were ‘classic’ BDSM picture and drawings (think Robert Bishop). Perhaps because even the 1960’s permissiveness did not stretch to BDSM my interest was ‘secret’. To be frank, the secretive and hidden nature of BDSM was in itself attractive and I feel something valuable has been lost (as well as much gained) by bringing BDSM into the mainstream – what once was spicy and exotic is now just more vanilla.

My ‘secret sexual passion’ did not find tangible outlet for a surprisingly long time. Although trying to introduce, without much success, elements of BDSM into my relationships, I did not visit a Dominatrix until 1994, when I was 43. That was the beginning of a quite extensive exploration of UK pro-dommes. I have lost count of the number of visits to ‘chambers’ I made. Some of the sessions were brilliant, others less so. One thing I did find was that when I found a Dominatrix whom really interested me I would see her 3 or 4 times but then my interest would inevitably wane and it was off to pastures new. There was perhaps a trend though, as my experience grew I became more selective and sought out the more sophisticated Dominatrix. I have some masochistic tendencies but I am not a pain slut and it was the psychological aspects of BDSM, in particular power exchange, that really interested me. I also began to discover that Asian Dominatrix seemed to excel in the areas in which fascinated me and I developed a real rapport with Dominatrix of, for example, Chinese (HK), Indian and Vietnamese origin.
Alongside sessions, I was also (and continue to be) quite sexually gregarious, having many flings, as well as uncountable visits to hookers ‘along the way’.

The BDSM scene, like the rest of the world, changed quickly and dramatically as the internet permeated all our lives. In the past, in keeping with the ‘secretive’ nature of the ‘industry’ contact with a Dominatrix was via an expensive ‘direct contact’ magazine bought in some seedy sex shop, and often being low quality, black and white and possibly a photocopy (anyone remember ‘Dominant Bitch’?). Now suddenly hundreds of Dominatrix were accessible via well designed and alluring websites with photo galleries, full descriptions of experience, sessions available etc., etc. From famine to feast! Alongside this development came two new avenues to explore –distance ‘training’ via e-mail and financial domination. I have immersed myself in both worlds but my adventures with (and sometimes to the outer limits of) financial domination are not the subject of this article. Perhaps ME will ‘Commission’ that story another time! What e-mail did permit though, was not just maintaining a relationship with a Dominatrix between sessions, but also building a relationship without a physical meeting at all. Where I currently live there are no Dominatrix but I have built a series of on-line relationships with Dominatrix. I have, or intend to, meet them all for real time sessions but in some cases that is merely the ‘icing on the cake’ as the ‘electronic’ relationship itself is meaningful and gratifying. Communication is mainly by e-mail but text messages, webcam sessions and phone calls all play a part.
Now it is time to be rather more specific and talk of my relationship with ME. It is quite new as I first contacted her just over six months ago now. From the very start I explained to ME my life was a bit complex and I wanted to be completely open and honest with Her. I have been simply amazed by what has happened over the last six months. ME is quite unlike any Dominatrix I have ever encountered. She is refined, exotic, well educated, a mind as sharp as a razor and has a brilliant sense of humour and a deep love of life. She is just the sort of extremely good looking young lady most guys would love to have as a friend let alone a girlfriend! Her uniqueness, though, is that all the aforementioned qualities are mixed with something that is really quite rare – a genuinely deeply sadistic nature and an intuitive understanding of the Dominatrix/slave dynamic that is unsurpassed. What is more, She has been able to completely captivate my imagination and engage with my submissive nature in a deeper and more meaningful way than anyone I have encountered, and that is without actually having met Her! Of course as ME has ‘commissioned’ this article I am not going to bad-mouth Her, but remember the ‘foundation’ of my relationship with Her is complete honesty and openness, and that extends to what I write here. There is also a rather hard to describe aspect to my communications with ME that is also unique to me. It has been my experience that Dominatrix, to a greater or lesser extent, are playing a ‘role’, even the so-called ‘lifestyle’ Dominatrix. That can be limiting, and at times tiresome. I do not, however, get that feeling with ME at all. It seems to me She is merely being herself, and that permits a freshness and lightness to communications that is so very welcome. It has made my interaction with Her exciting, stimulating and downright good fun! But read on. If that was all then that would illustrate what an extremely interesting and absorbing personality ME was, but little else. The ‘extra’ ingredient is that alongside the ‘normal’ interchange ME begun to reveal Her depth and power as a Dominatrix. There is a subtle point to be made here. Another aspect of ME’s skills is that She is really very good indeed in assessing a slave’s level of understanding and degree of development. I am at a certain place in my life and ME very quickly ‘tuned into’ that and is drawing out the full potential I offer, both for Her own use and for my ‘education’. There are aspects of our relationship I am not going to discuss both because it is too personal, but also because it may give the wrong impression. What might be manna from heaven for me, may send another potential slave running for cover!

I am going to finish this article by addressing the question of how do I reconcile the different aspects of my life – the face I present to the world, and my secret submissive side. To be completely honest there is some conflict some element of what could be described the equivalent of being a ‘closet gay’. However it is not, and has never been a major problem or issue for me. Over the years I have learned a little about myself. In the past I made really sincere efforts to change, to become a ‘good’ person, and that would have meant denying my sexuality. Such attempts were doomed to failure from the start and as I realised the futility of that approach I began, in earnest, the journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Yes, there are aspects of my personality that really are not nice at all. I have a lovely wife, yet lead a secret life of which she knows nothing and which would be devastating for her if she found out. In describing the process of individuation, the journey to psychic wholeness, Jung wrote much and personally explored, what he called our shadow side. That side of our being does contain dark and frightening aspects of our being but it is only by bringing them into the light of consciousness that they can be dealt with and like noises in the night, the monster is in fact no more than the wind blowing twigs against the window pane. My journey is not complete, far from it, but I am no longer ashamed of whom I am or what I do. I am being true to myself and in doing so, serving Dominatrix, serving ME, is an essential part of my growth. Young in years ME is old beyond her years when it comes to wisdom and intuition. It is a very rare thing indeed to meet a wise being whom is also so good looking, wild, impulsive, great fun and oh in some ways, so very deliciously dangerous!

I know one day soon I am going to meet ME face to face. I know She intends, when W/we do meet, to put me through some fairly serios humiliation. Scared? A little. Excited? Of yes.