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Why I Love Being A Mistress

Whenever an online article does the rounds within the Dommesphere, it is regularly a wry look at “what not to do when you contact me” or “Why I might be moody when you call”. It seems to me that discussion is rarely, and certainly not often enough, turning to the topic of why we LOVE being Mistresses. And surely many of us do. Whilst I know that slaves often report disappointing experiences in the past with distant or unenthusiastic Dominas, I don’t believe that these ladies make up the majority of the scene. In fact I suspect that most women operating in London thoroughly enjoy their lifestyles. Whether they be a lifestyle Mistress, part-time mum, student, carer, vanilla executive moonlighting as a Dominant, or a combination of all of those, what’s certain is that there are a plethora of factors around being a Mistress that make it entirely fabulous.

Here are a few of my personal favourites:

1) I am empowered. Society is advanced, women have equal rights (on the face of it), and the pay gap is closing (ahem). But still, outside of the realm of FemDom, life isn’t quite so easy for us ladyfolk. Trust me, in the world of corporate work, we sill languish more often at the bottom of the tree than at the top through employers’ fears of us having babies and demanding shorter working hours. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been asked, in vanilla jobs that were middling on the pay scale and organogram, “What is a bright girl like you doing here?”. And frankly I’ve asked myself the same question. So, given the opportunity, I entered the world of self employment as soon as I could after graduating. Luckily this resulted in me earning more and having the free time to explore being a Mistress in London in my spare time. And that was one of the best choices I ever made, as now I feel 100% appreciated, exalted, celebrated rather than tolerated and completely rewarded for my intellect and humour. And who can ask for more than that in their career?

2) I am spoiled. I may be a modern woman but I still love a good old-fashioned gentleman. Gifts are lovely, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Show me a woman who doesn’t enjoy a fresh bouquet of flowers, a box of luxurious chocolates or a new pair of shoes that she’s been lusting after and I’ll show you candidate for therapy. Do my slaves spoil their long-term partners like they spoil me? Probably not. I won’t kid myself that my playmates are at it day and night, returning from work every weekday festooned with packages and Selfridges bags for Mrs Slave. But by being an occaisional treat for my slaves, the pleasure for them in buying me the occaisional treat is amplified 100-fold. It doesn’t need to be more than a £1 bag of Haribo, or a single stem rose. But, make no mistake, I am appreciated (see above) in both the physical and emotional sense. And that is a wonderful feeling.

3) I have an outlet. I can express all and any of my deepest, darkest fantasies and thoughts on sexuality and the bizarre. Nothing is off-limits for me, in theory. If I suddenly found myself in the grips of an uncontrollable urge to see a man nail his balls to a wooden board (yes, it happened, once) you can bet your bottom dollar that there’ll be a slave out there in the WWW who will indulge my desire. There is someone for everyone, after all. And that means that both the submissives that visit me and I have a healthy forum for expressing feelings that, in the wider world, are still rather taboo. Depending on your job, social standing, familial culture and background you will find yourself in situations of differing tolerance: the continuum ranges from utterly intolerant (possibly extreme religiosity in the home) to 100% out-there-naked-house-swinging-on-the-weekends-Meet-The-Fockers levels of openess. Unfortunately for some of my slaves, I hail from a family nearer the latter. But where else, in one’s day to day life, would we find ourselves in a safe, private, confidential space with the freedom to say anything about anyone without dear of judgement?

4) I am allowed insight. This is something that is all too often forgotten about your visit to the Dominatrix. You are, in effect, giving the Mistress the right to ask you about your fantasies and get to know you. That is quite the gift. For an intellectually hungry and capacious girl like me, it is the ultimate gift. You’ve granted me insight into the most mysterious and complex entities: the human psyche. And for that I am eternally grateful. It would be impossible for me to collate and absorb the kind of information I have done on kink, fear, confidence, sexuality, childhood, imprinting and existential fear without having had, effectively, what boils down to thousands of face to face interviews with kind and willing subjects. This has been one of the most unexpected bonuses of being a Dominatrix. It has thrilled me, entertained me, tickled me, challenged me, shocked me, and shaken me to my core in two cases (where childhood abuse has been mentioned). Hopefully, the more I have heard, the better I have become at listening.

So, as we embark on Summer holidays and lapping up the sunshine, I hope to send a great big “Thank you!” to the slaves who have visited me so far for their input into the factors above. Long may they continue 🙂